Show Us Your Life - Share Your Testimony

This week’s Show Us Your Life over at Kelly’s Korner is Share Your Testimony.

This is something I have wanted to discuss for some time, but it’s hard to share your problems with everyone on the Internet. But at the same time, you never know who might benefit from hearing what you have to say.

For some time I have struggled with the path my life has taken. At this time in my life, I expected I would be living in my dream home, married with kids, with a career that had really taken off. I felt that overall I was a good person, l went to school for my bachelor and master’s degree, I followed the law, paid my bills on time and did everything a good citizen should do. Although I don’t go to church on a regular basis, I believe in God and try my best to be a good Christian.

So why am I in my early-thirties, divorced, living in an apartment, with no kids, in a job where people who are 3 and 4 years younger than me are in positions above me? I heard a fellow blogger a few weeks ago mention “I plan and God laughs.” I thought how true is that?!?

I am a very analytical, left brain, OCD type person. I typically believe that if you do ABC, then XYZ will happen. For example, I go to school, get my masters, work really hard and a dream job should magically appear. Anyone else feel that way? I can control my destiny, I can control everything, or at least I wish I could.

I looked up online where “Man plans, God laughs” comes from and it is actually a Yiddish proverb “Mentsch tracht, Gott lacht”

I then also found a bible verse, which I felt totally relates to this: Psalm 33:10-11 “The Lord foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations."

We try to control our destiny, whether with good or bad intentions, but no matter what, God is really in charge of our destiny. He has a plan for each of us, and although we may not agree with the path our life is taking, God knows what is good for us, and in the end, he will make sure the what will happen is in our best interest.

I recently purchased the book Plan B: What Do You Do When God Doesn't Show Up the Way You Thought He Would by Pete Wilson. I haven’t had a chance to read it, but I have heard great things about this book which focuses on when your plans (Plan A) doesn’t happen, why God’s plans (Plan B) probably will work out even better than your original plans. Has anyone else read this book? What did you think? I can’t wait to read it and will be sure to share my thoughts.

It’s taken me a while to realize all of this, and to be honest, every day it’s a struggle to remember God’s plan for me. I keep reminding myself, I am now in a better relationship than I was in before, I recently got promoted and feel that even though I had some road blocks with my career, it is now back on track, and it is probably a good thing I didn’t have kids in my first marriage, because how awful would it be for my kids to deal with a broken marriage. My day will come, and all of my dreams will be fulfilled, I just need to practice having patience (yet again another trait I struggle with).

Thanks for hearing me ramble. Sometimes it helps to just get it all out. Also, I have had the opportunity to help a few women who have come in my life deal with the emotions and questions that come with going through a divorce, so if anyone ever wants to chat, I am totally open to that. Just feel free to leave me a comment with your email.